Saturday, December 22, 2012

Lord Help Me

I'm seriously thinking of buying a Biturbo.  

The thought just came to me in bed last night.  I really have no explanation why - I don't drink much and as far as I'm aware I don't have a debilitating drug habit.

The closest I can get to rationalizing such insanity is that they're cheap.  Super-cheap.  Like abused '91 Mitsubishi Galant cheap.  Here in SoCal, $2,500 buys a clean, well-maintained and low-mileage example - anyway you look at it, that's a ton of crap car for the money.  I figure if I show up with my haggling face and $1,800 cash, I could easily drive away with my own sad, boxy little slice of malaise-era exotica.

My wife told me she'd want to take it to work and casually tell her co-workers we bought a Maserati over the weekend, and I'd want to get a handful of fun drives out of it before it broke in some catastrophic and expensive way.  In the end, if I could sell it for parts and get back half of my initial investment I'd be happy.  Let's call it $900 for 900 miles - sounds perfectly rational when you look at it that way... right?

Anyone have experience with these things?  Are they really that bad?  Please talk me out of this.


4 comments:

  1. Ahh yes, the Old Maserati BiTurbo Lust. I would direct the Right Honorable Gentlemans' attention to a blog post by Just A Car Geek in 2011 on just this subject; (I am the 3rd commenter down.)
    http://www.justacargeek.com/2011/11/1985-maserati-biturbo.html
    I've never had one but, I would say get the newest (after 1987 or so), least rusty, convertible with the automatic. They really did make some improvements over the years, including the fuel injection. Rust is , especially in the front A-pillar & dogleg area, the worst, so watch for it, Convertibles have a broader re-sale appeal ("When the Top comes down, the Price goes up") The automatic, because it is some sort of Chrysler Torqueflite inside, so you may be able to source parts,(?) and for the slightly lower chance that some previous owner has missed a shift and bent the tach needle around the endpeg. And let us know if you intend to drive it regularly, so I may stock up on oil company shares. Keep your foot in it long enough and the sound isn't the only thing that "goes to Eleven".

    Alden

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    1. Interesting, thanks Alden. I appreciate the words of warning, but if I end up pulling the trigger it will have to be a manual - if I'm going to do something crazy might as well go the whole way with it, right?

      I saw a nice LWB '84 or '85 at Cars & Coffee this morning and I took it as a bit of a sign - watch this space.

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  2. Last post screwed up, hope this isn't a double.

    I won't stop you. Far from it, please do it. The House of Trident is at the top of my automotive lust list, even the DeTomaso-era castoffs. I have considered a Quattroporte of the same vintage several times, but I never pulled the trigger. Let me live vicariously through you.

    As some inspiration, I once came very close to purchasing an equally-infamous V12 Jaguar XJS. The interior was rough, but God that engine. It was so quiet and smooth I thought that it hadn't actually started when I turned the key. I had to get out of the car to hear it! And the driving experience was out of this world. The power was so smooth and linear, and it had plenty of it! I didn't get it, settled for a 1990 Buick Reatta instead. Not quite the same cat. Even now, after having heard all the horror stories about them, when I see a V12 XJS I am sad and regretful.

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    1. I've been close to buying an old V12 Jag myself - I must own at least one twelve cylinder car someday.

      Thanks for the words of encouragement.

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