Thursday, November 29, 2012

Hire Me, Please

So I was laid off the other day.  I'm not terribly bummed as it was soul-crushing, corporate Bizarro world, office drone type work, but it did pay well and now I'm faced with the financial reality that I have too many cars, eat too much food and go on some pretty ballin-ass vacations with regularity.

I have a few part-time side jobs (freelancing for Bring a Trailer, making affordable mid-century inspired furniture), but they're more hobbies that bring in a few extra bucks than anything like a career.  I have ambition to make these things grow, but that's where I need some help.

Hire me, please.  I can write my ass off.  I take decent photos and am learning to take better ones.  I have a borderline Asberger's-like knowledge of cars and automotive history, but without all the social awkwardness and weird clothes.  I'm hard-working, smart, personable, creative, enthusiastic, ready to pay my dues, and eager to make a name for myself in this industry.

Thanks for your time and consideration.


pay negotiable

Chevrolet C4 - the 'Whorevette'

My good buddy Juan is kind of a degenerate.  He's a bit too slick for comfort, dates a lot of women, dresses like a Croatian gangster and just generally exudes a strong aura of pervishness.  He's also super-smart, wickedly funny, big-hearted, loyal, and full of incredible stories hard-earned through a life as James Bond's creepy Chicano half-brother.




Juan's been on my mind for a few days now, ever since I wrote this Bring a Trailer piece on a '90 Corvette ZR-1.  You see, back when I met him about 13 years ago, he had a visually identical black on black '87 C4 with updated square taillight rear valance.  Juan's car was a base L98 model with an automatic, but it looked and sounded the business.  I remember once teasing him about not driving a manual, and the car being a big poser-mobile - his reply was "sticks aren't good for road head, though!".  I'm paraphrasing, actually, as he went into quite a bit more graphic detail on the presumed incompatibility of gear changing and moving sex acts.


ergonomics optimized for road head

C4's are trashy, sleazy things.  I've read that even hardtops will banana with both doors open while on a lift, making it impossible for them to shut until lowered back onto solid ground.  They have interiors, as aptly described by one BaT commenter, with "fit and finish suggesting that they were assembled by blind children in UNICEF hospitals."  They have notoriously bad electrical systems, weak brakes, insufficient engine cooling, and aren't all that powerful in base form.  They place grip and grunt over delicacy and adjustability, flash over substance.  They're rude, crude and obviously built to a price.

Yet despite all these glaring shortcomings, the C4 somehow remains a charming, unique and cool car.  I'd love to own one, but I can't really say why.  Perhaps flawed cars, like the flawed people in our lives, are simply the most interesting.  If the soul is nourished through struggle, and character defined by the personal challenges and limitations one overcomes, then by those measures their can't be many cars more soulful or full of character than a C4 Corvette.

Juan proudly called his the "Whorevette", and it was as if God himself had designed and built that car just for him.

Love you man, hope all is well up in ol' East L.A.


in reality, quite a sophisticated car for its time

Cheating the Wind

Nearly 80 years later, the Tatra T77 still has the lowest drag coefficient (0.212) of any production car ever built.

Autofrei


Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Citroen M35

Citroen's first rotary prototype.  Produced in small numbers and never officially sold, but rather provided to loyal customers for testing in a program similar to what Chrysler used with their Turbine car.  Built upon an Ami 8 platform and with a Wankel designed and produced in conjunction with NSU called "Comotor".  

Combining rotary power, Opron-era style and Citroen's legendary oleo-pneumatic suspension, it's easily one of the most fascinating cars ever built.



It's Easy to Drive Stick

Porsche 914 Brochure Photos

Wallpaper Wednesday - SM Proto Michelin

As always, open in new tab for hi-res.


126 Fiats

T57 S Atlantique

Sunday, November 25, 2012

Master of My Own Domain

I finally got around to registering autoneuroticfixation.com, so no need to go to the old .blogspot address any more - that still works, but it just redirects now.

To celebrate, I flew to Germany and tagged the 'Ring in a very convincing and totally not MS Paint'd way.


thanks to Mr. Glickenhaus for his generous donation of two Rustoleum spray cans

Fast Lorry

Racebred Flatbed

Auto Union Type D


If this was my alarm clock chime, everyday would be a great day.



King of Cool

Thursday, November 22, 2012