Monday, February 4, 2013

Your Scion tC Sucks

It's not a sports car.  It's not a sporty car.  It's not fast.  It doesn't handle well.  It isn't even remotely cool.  'Even sitting on airbags and these 20" Work LS 507's?'  Especially with all that garbage that is now worth more than the uninspiring piece of shit it's been applied to.  Why is your stereo stuck on shitty house music?  Girls love your car but think you're a harmless tool.  Your windshield is covered in stickers.  You're almost 30 years old, work at Best Buy, and live with your parents.  You drive stick like your clutch foot is asleep and don't know how to change your own oil.  Wakaba sticker and/or Japanese license plate on a USDM-only car.  $39,000 in debt but at least you get 35 MPG.  That engine comes from a Camry and has the power-to-displacement ratio of a farm tractor.  Get the fuck out of the passing lane.  Stop revving at me.  You're not into cars, so please stop telling people you are before they confuse us.

the automotive equivalent of Budweiser Black Crown


  1. "the automotive equivalent of Budweiser Black Crown"

    I'm noramally very all inclusive when it comes to cars, but first gen tCs make my brain hurt, especially knowing what people could get for the money (that they may or may not have in the first place).